Welcome back to BeREAL! This week Diana and Ednesha are joined by two dads, Darren Carter and John Palau, to discuss all things fatherhood. We’ve had many moms on the show before but now it’s time to talk about the paternal side of parenting. The two fathers are here to discuss their journey to fatherhood and what it’s like being a dad during a pandemic.
Darren Carter describes himself as an imperfect man who is here to share his insights as a husband, father (foster and adoptive) follower of Christ, and an adult with ADHD. He currently has three kids living at his home, but he is only legally the father to two.
Josh Palau has worked in digital media for over 20 years. He currently lives in New Hope with his wife Laurie and their two daughters, Zoe and Logan.
Josh begins the episode by retelling his journey into fatherhood. He explains that he had always wanted kids, but the timing of when that would happen was more dictated by his wife. He did add, however, that he knew he wanted two kids and no more. Darren then shares his journey. He came to be a father later in his life when he married his wife who already had a daughter of her own. While they struggled to have biological children they became foster parents and eventually ended up adopting one of the foster children. Darren opens up a bit more about his struggle with not being able to have biological children, but states that love is what is most important. His love for all his children is genuine and that means far more to him than blood ever could.
Josh tells about how his daughters have differing interests, and one of their interests closer aligns with his own. He explains the importance of taking what your children enjoy and learning to enjoy it with them, so you can constantly be a part of their life and grow with them. Darren explains the modern worldview of fathers. Many people will come up to him when he is alone with his children and as if he is a babysitter or merely doing a favor for his wife. He and Josh are looking to push against these stereotypes that fathers can’t do their daughters’ hair or change a diaper and can be just as important in raising a child as a woman.
Next, Darren goes into detail about what makes a good foster parent. He says that much of what makes people good foster parents is also why many people choose not to be them. A foster child is plucked from an environment and then moved around a lot, so it is crucial that foster parents see a child as their own as soon as they arrive. This will make parting from them all the more difficult, but it is the best environment for growth.
Lastly, Darren and Josh talk about what it is like to be home with their children during the pandemic. They talk about academic and social struggles and the need for a break every once in a while. To conclude the episode, each dad offers one piece of advice to men considering fatherhood in the future. They come to the consensus that you must grow with your child and their interests.
Thank you so much for tuning into BeREAL this week. Be on the lookout for an all new episode next week. In the meantime, make sure to check out last week’s episode with Diana Limongi on politics and parenting.
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