Welcome back to BeREAL! While Ednesha is not here this week, Diana is joined by returning guest LaTanya Tolan. LaTanya is here to discuss her new book “Doing Single Well: 31 Days to Transforming Your Thoughts About God’s Plan for Your Season in Singleness.”
LaTanya Tolan, LCSW, MA Ed. is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Life Coach and is the Founder and CEO of Soul Care for Black Clinicians. Since 2011, she has maintained a private mental health practice devoted to healing Black people. LaTanya has always been and will always be committed to inspiring and empowering Black people towards healing, growth, change and goal attainment, so they can ultimately reach their optimum potential.
Diana starts off the episode with BeREAL’s Jessica to discuss what everyone has been watching the past week. Jessica talks about binging reality TV as she waits for her husband to return from a trip. This is the perfect segway into this week’s guest, LaTanya Tolan. LaTanya is here because she wants to discuss how to “do single well” so that you can have a healthy, sustainable relationship in the future.
LaTanya begins by telling Diana how the book came to be. Not even Diana knew about the book before, because LaTanya said she wanted to keep the process between her and God. When the concept of the book first came up in 2018, LaTanya did not want anything to do with it. That is because she thought that “doing single well” would mean that she wouldn’t be single anymore, and instead be in a happy marriage. However, she soon discovered that “doing single well” meant using the time when you’re single to become your best self, which in turn will lead to healthier relationships in the future.
So how do you become your best self? LaTanya’s book includes a 31 day process, and each day consists of reflection questions and journaling spaces. She notes that the book is targeted towards Black women, however, there is information in it that can be used by everyone. The advice in it ranges from learning how to recognize challenges that keep arising and understanding why they keep coming back to how to manage mental health when you make big revelations.
Diana and LaTanya each share anecdotes about their past revelations they’ve had while single and how they changed their self view. One important mindset shift LaTanya talks about is learning to know that you are a catch; you are not a problem. Just because a relationship doesn’t work out does not mean there is something wrong with you. Also, it is one thing to say affirmations like that one, it is another to believe them. Diana finishes off the episode by emphasizing how you must believe you are deserving of a good relationship.
Thank you for tuning into BeREAL! Make sure to check out last week’s episode about depression. Also, stay tuned for an all new episode next Tuesday.
For more information on LaTanya and her new book, visit the links below:
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